it has been a while and it might be a while again too.
a whole month has gone. and a lot has happened...
I might just use a swedish list, translated into english and maybe it will help...

10 things I like:
spring in Berlin
I booked my flight to Australia
my new friend Hanna and the fact that she just lives 6min by bike away
my wonderful La Sardinia Camera and all those amasing pictures
buttercup flowers, long lasting flowers make me happy
instagram, addiction
babysitting Isa, the most happy little girl in the world
waking up from kisses
books
my cameras

9 things I don't like:
how death tears us apart
messy flatmates
my work at the cafe
storms and lightnings
allergic reactions
count money
being paranoid
dog-ears!!!
smoking in bars and clubs

8 blogs  I started following:
absolutlisen
beattielanser
brookeholm
finelittleday
theredthreadblog
craft.tutsplus
floras
Frankie

7 things I want to do in the future:
have a nice beautiful veggie garden
been to every continent
finish my BA and MA
visit Edinburgh
drive around Australia
write a book
sell a pice of art done by me

6 things I am afraid of:
being left alone
become a bad person
to one day look back and not like my life
to loose people I love/care about
become boring
depression

5 places I like being at:
Midsommar somewhere in Sweden
close to the sea
deep into snow
besides my byfriend in bed
bookshops

4 words describing me:
literate
friendly
creative
lazy

3 things I am looking forward to:
flying to Australia in less then 34 days and seeing my boyfriend and Florence and everyone else!
my birthday, in winter for the first time this year
great food and Espresso Martinis

2 good movies:
the perks of being a wallflower
the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

One good song:
Autre ne Veut: play by play

:(

I'm trying to sleep but I'm just moving around in my bed. Can't find the right position to fall asleep in even thou my eyes hurt from crying and a lack of sleep. I don't like those moments and situation when most of what is going to happen is unknown. I love having plans and almost a plan about the next half year. About what will happen and when and of course everything planned and approved. But right now I have no clue where I will be from June to October and it is killing me. I hate waiting and not being able to make actions :( And I freaking miss my boyfriend and need him right now...

crah test dummy needed?

So. I should study but instead I am lying in bed with a headache und everything is crashing it seems like. I still dont have a clue where I am going to do my internship from June and it is killing me. I need to buy a flight ticket if I do it in Australia but I don't have the money right now. Nor a place. And this exam tomorrow. Never been so blank for an exam ever. This is going to fail. But, I might not care. I don't know. I just want it to be next week. All the stress would be over by then. and we still don't know what is happening about the Lacrosse Game on sunday. Wooph. over and out.

Shit

this was what I saw this morning when I woke up at 6:40 and I could not really believe my eyes... and since then it hasnt stopped snowing!!! It is insane! and it is not even good snow but a really moist one. so if you walk and the snow is falling on you, it is already melting and going into the fabric. no good. Anyway. it is supposed to be spring!!! not winter! and we will have -8 on saturday! totaly insane!

I'm supposed to study. Exam on thursday but I can just not motivate myself. Am skipping lacrosse practise as a punsih... but still it is not really helping...

cake x2

 

So this is the result of what I baked last night. I started with a nice and easy berry cake until I realised that my flatmates twin sister would come the next day and she is a vegan and I had already added the eggs so I decided to bake a second one, had bananas over anyway which I wanted to turn into a bananacake/bread anyway the next days. And I always got so frustrated with my old flatmates who baked something and then always had the excuse I could not eat because it had milk products. oh how hard is it to buy margarine instead of butter? most of the time you don't taste the difference anyway, so that was another reason why I decided to bake a second one. to not be like them!

VEGAN Banana-Almond paste-Cake

ingredienses:

100ml vegetable oil

100g sugar

2 bananas or more

100 g almond paste

2 bags of bakingpowder ot 4 teaspoons

300g flour

1 teaspoon cinamon, vanillasugar, cardamon (whatever you feel like)

a bit of salt

mix the sugar (I used brown but white would be fine too), salt, cinnamon, vanillasugar and oil until the sugar dissolved. add almond paste and bananas and mix it until it is almost a liquid. mix flour and bakingpowder and add it to the other mixture. add ricemilk/oil to get a more liquid dough. now you could even add peanuts or dates or stuff like that. then fill the dough in a tin and bake in the oven 175 degrees around 50 min, make sure the cake does not burn, use tinfoil on top after around 35 min

enjoy!

Hello goodbye

I just had two days of mostly doing nothing and almost being in bed the whole time. Much needed after a really busy period in my life.
I had the most amazing trip to Australia and came back one week before my exam period started which I did quite well. Then a flight to Munich and a needed reunion with my boyfriend there, my sisters wedding and a few city trips in Germany and a last week in Berlin together until R left again for down under... And so now I am back alone in Berlin, exams are coming up again but I started to enjoy spring and got a new hobby, lacrosse. I still need to find motivation to study and do some work but it will come. The whole internship story is going on my nerves and long distance anyway but there is nothing to change about it, cause love just hurts especially when you are apart. Oh I can't wait and I am already counting until I finally got my degree next year in July!
So much about what is going on and now just a few pictures

Packing...

Well finally we did a FaceTime session only for packing my suitcase or rather deciding what I'm going to take to Australia and eventually after I was worried that all my stuff won't fit into my new 120l suitcase it did and I still have space but the whole damn suitcase is now 25.1kg which is kind of good but still stupid 3.1kg too much and who knows how the wage at the airport is configured!?! So what am I going to take into my hand luggage which is at the moment only a bag and my ticket, medicine, some uni things, iPad and cables and nothing else.
Should I take a summer outfit just in case my bag get lost (as it tend to) and maybe my cameras?
Too many questions!

I'm down at my parents place and this morning it started to snow. It's first of December, I got to open my first present of my Christmas calendar and there is snow outside waiting for me! Life couldn't be better right now.
Yesterday I already met some old friends for hot met, a honey wine which is delicious and some glühwein, went to a local brewery for more good beer and ended the night at a pub with more beer and great company.
So today I'm going to shop more Christmas presents or small German presents to bring to Australia while I'm still not sure if I will be allowed to bring them into Australia or not...
And I will meet more friends and hopefully be dancing to night too.
But now off to put some cloth on!

Thanksgiving

So on Saturday we started pretty early with putting the giant 8.34 kg turkey into the oven, filled with a lot of butter and apples and some other spices and then prepared a lot of other good food and waited until friends came by with more food and wine and beer. It was a good day with great conversations and so so much food

Its not easy to say good bye.
I'm a distant kind of person. It takes some time to get friends with me and even longer to be close to me. And then I'm not going to let you go. At least as long as you're nice to me and treat me as I treat you which is always the reason why my friendships end cause I always put more into it then others and if then a friend is leaving town it is no good, if a friend then is even leaving country and Europe it is getting worse.
So today a close friend told me he is going back to his home country, stupid Latin Americans. I'm sad and angry and disappointed and I can do nothing :( I hope he made the right decision and even if not I will support him and be a good friend that's all I can do right now.

woulnd't say no to for Christmas...

Le Specs Cosmic String Sunglasses

Bohemia Boho Briefcase maybe in mandarine maybe in absinthe, mustard or cocoa

as usual a kitchen aid :)

this scarf from asos.com

the diana Mini Latitude edition camera 

an old typewriter 

a nice ring like this one maybe?

a diamond shaped necklace like this one but maybe in gold

maybe I need a gold watch for my collection? wouldn't mind...

already looking for a nice dress to wear at my sisters wedding but this might be too much... 

I want something like this to put my teapots on there to keep the tea warmer for longer (not this one in particular but something like this but better looking)

this book in swedish and as an e-book version please.

a good tripod to use with my Canon, one where you can have the connection part between tripod and camera on the camera and really quick get the camera on the tripod and off again!

this 35mm back for my diana...

this book.

and I could probably go on and on and on...

But most for Christmas I wish for this year is good company, a great trip in Australia, meeting heaps of new interesting people, a great internship place, try new food, eat a ripe mango, see great landscapes, be able to talk to my family on christmas eve, be loved.